I was really looking forward to the Migori nightlife. So far I have had the time of my life during this trip to Kenya. I will spare you the details but this feels good. Most of the work I came to do have been done. That is, is you call what I do, work! I have always made my hobbies into my work so I have a smile on my face while working.
In spite of the heat and all, I have been on a high dosage of work–travel-work since I arrived. I went out briefly with Aurelia in Mombasa but going out in Migori was going to be a personal highlight. This was because for the first time since I arrived, I had nothing planned for the next day. So that meant I could relax and go with the flow of the Migori night. I was ready to rumble and jumble!
So Aurelia, Louise, Teresa and I hit the town. We dropped at a joint where the DJ was playing some old Motown classics mixed with some latest African beats. We were having great fun enjoying the night. We were enjoying some guests giving us some sideshows and it was just fascinating watching some subtle and not so subtle differences in the nightlife in Migori and that of some cities in The Netherlands.
And then all hell broke loose!
I am sure you all know those guys at clubs who would have fun no matter what? Well one of them was at this club. The whole time we were there he was just dancing; first by himself and later with apparently an old female acquaintance of his. Of course we were having loads of fun at his expense. Although the guy was having a good time dancing, it was obvious that he brought his own music! He had no rhythm at all! So much for the myths that all Africans can dance. Of course, Aurelia needed some light to do another quick Instagram post of our time in the club so a joke developed amongst us whenever she asked for us to provide her with some of our smartphone torchlight.
Next thing we knew this guy dancing was on the ground, covered in spatters of his own blood with a gang of 5 maybe 7 guys taking turns to punch and kick him! Our table, being close to the scene of the “action” took the major brunt of the whole mayhem. All drinking glasses and bottles were broken and what was left was spilled on the floor.
Eventually the security people got our guy off the ground and out of the club. We debated whether to stay or leave and while debating this, our guy came back in, still bloodied but okay. You also know at every club, there are always a bunch of losers who are jealous and hate whoever is having fun and would go out of their ways to spoil everybody’s fun? Well those were the guys who beat our “friend” up but they were allowed to stay inside the club as if nothing happened. If that had happened at Africa Night, those guys would have been thrown out in a minute never ever to come back again!
We decided to leave for another club to continue clubbing. We were not going to let these idiots spoil our night. But if only we could have anticipated what happened next, we would probably have headed home!
So we got to this better looking club and we were having our fun meeting some new people. Then an old Koffi Olomide’s song comes up and I just decided to do that thing of mine I call dance and others call “Femi stop disgracing yourself!”. I am always shy dancing in public, in places I am not familiar with and in front of people I don’t know! So whenever I dance anyway, my friends always are surprised. But I was not about to let Koffi Olomide waste away in the Migori night! So I did my thing while the ladies were having fun and goading me on! With friends like that making (and encouraging) me to make a fool of myself, who needs haters! So Aurelia and Teresa started filming me dancing. This rare event had to be recorded for posterity! Actually Teresa was filming with my smartphone too.
As said earlier, there are always guys who are always irritated by others at every club. This club was no exemption. Out of nowhere a half-drunk bully aggressively approached Teresa demanding in very threatening tone to see the content of our video! When asked why, he claimed we were filming his friend who was dancing at least 3 metres to my left! To be certain, we were sitting outside where there was not a dance floor. We were all flabbergasted by the audacity and the brazenness of his actions. Before we knew it all his friends were at our table threatening and harassing us.
After experiencing the ugliness of the Migori nightlife, the goodness of the same Migori nightlife came to the fore. We had been sitting at a table where Teresa, Aurelia and I knew no one except of course Louise who asked us to take our place at that particular table because an old friend was there. Otherwise we were all strangers at the table. Yet these guys all stood up as a man to protect Teresa and the rest of us against these drunk bullies. Meanwhile, Aurelia was ready to kick some butt literally. I have never seen her so completely consumed with pure anger. The guys kept on demanding to see the video which we refused. What made it really even more personal was that the guys were threatening Teresa, who at 18 was the youngest of all people there. And Teresa is Aurelia’s little sister!
We had our job cut out trying to calm Aurelia down while those idiots were also now threatening us with guns etc. The guy who was Louise’s acquaintance was the most poised there and just discreetly kept telling us to keep cool and ignore these idiots. When the security guy and the manager of the joint finally talked the hooligans into leaving us alone, we felt we had to leave as our evening was completely ruined. We showed the footage to the security guy (which clearly only showed me dancing) and he went and told the guys they were not in the video.
You would have thought that was the end of it but the guys came back demanding in more threatening tones to see the video themselves. The reason we did not let them see the video in the first place was because of the threats. If people had asked gently and politely we would have obliged. So we went into the next round of frenzy with these guys threatening to harm us if we dared to leave.
Eventually when they calmed down enough to our liking we showed the video to the ringleader, the head bully. You could see even with his drunken head, he felt humiliated having wasted 2 hours of everyone’s time and spoiling our nights. He left and sat with his fellow bullies licking their wounds. Once again you would have thought that was the end of that. But no! We were still set for a final act!
One of the waitresses had apparently overheard them saying they were going to physically hurt us when we were going to go home because we humiliated them! We? Huh? If they were men, they would have come to apologise for their stupidity. But these were bullies who have been called out and they wanted to make sure they did not lose face. To cut a very long story short, we finally left the club after the bullies rose up again to physically attack the quiet guy who Louise knew. This guy it turned out was a medical doctor who later told us he knows at least 10 ways he could have hurt the head bully but just decided it was not worth his time or energy.
So what started out as a night of fun ended with a James Bond-like evasive driving and watching over our shoulders trying to see if the village idiots were still following us. You would have noticed that I did not give the names of the clubs. This is not about naming and shaming the clubs where these incidents took place. And even though I think the ultimate responsibilities lie with the clubs, I have to tell myself these are isolated incidents and we just had the double dosage of bad luck of being at the wrong places at the wrong times. Migori is a nice and beautiful city by day. Looking back it was a fun night!